We may look like average people but we have a couple inhuman abilities

1) inhaling food

You’re starving. You’re one tummy rumble away from stealing a fry off of table 63’s dinner plate. There’s no time. Table 4 needs refills, table 9 is missing a ranch, and you’re 10 top’s food is up. What do you do? You don’t chew…ain’t got time for that. You inhale. Seeing a server eat is something out of a sci-fi movie. How we have learned to eat an entire burger and fries with no evidence of a chew is unbelievable, and can make for very awkward first dates.

2) being able to smile when you actually want to kill

Regular people may not understand the self control and super human strength this entails.
When someone flags you down during lunch rush, pissed off because they are super ready to order and they thought you “left for the afternoon” then proceeds to take a solid four minutes running their stupid fingers up and down the words of the menu because in all actuality they have no clue WHAT THEY WANT……and you can still smile? And not attack? YOU, my friend are an anomaly. Bread salutes you.

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